Oh, he likes that sound. He can feel it move through him, sparking an even deeper arousal than before. He leans in to kiss Rowen again, easing into the feeling of being undressed, little by little.
He moves his hands from Rowen's chest only to help him pull his jacket off, and then his hands move right back, fingers pressing along Rowen's sides, then up to his shoulders to push his shirt off of them. He has to pause there though, because the feel of Rowen's hands on his skin is so intense, so good that he forgets how to even move for a moment, letting out a soft sound of approval. The touch is warm, just like the rest of Rowen. He likes that part a lot.
"Damn... so do you. You feel incredible," he breathes out quickly after that, "Strong but soft-- exactly like that." He returns the kisses more eagerly after that, closing his eyes and letting his lips travel along the other man's jaw as well. Whatever darker mood he was in earlier seems far away from him now as he's wrapped up in Rowen, exploring him so freely.
"I want that too." Maybe not such small steps. Maybe too much too soon, but he does't think so. "I wanna feel you pressed against me in every single way."
Hearing that, along with the breathy tone of his beautiful soldier, this time Hawke didn't ask before lifting the blue shirt over Bucky's head, carefully working the long sleeves over those mismatched arms. Of course, doing so revealed the mangled horror of that left shoulder, and Hawke couldn't help but hiss a soft breath, brows lowering in a flash of heated anger at the bastards who'd dared such a thing.
"...Bucky..." Hawke didn't even realized he'd said the other man's name, instinctively reaching for the red, scarred skin with an outstretched palm glowing a cool minty-green. Then stopped. Because Bucky had said no. He didn't want to be healed. Something else Hawke understood.
Hawke lowered his hand, its glow slowly fading. But there wasn’t an ounce of judgment in the blue eyes that sought Bucky’s, just a quiet, tender sympathy.
“…oh, love. Would that I could ease but a small bit of that burden…”
Bucky lifts his arms to help Rowen tug his shirt off, trying not to feel self conscious about it this time. He knows Rowen's curious about it though, so he's expecting some attention to the limb. He's not really sure if he wants to see the expression on Rowen's face though, but he doesn't even need to look. He can hear that soft hiss, and the tension that's there, the reaction to what he sees.
Bucky knows it's not an attractive sight- and this is already far improved from how it was when he had the metal arm, before the vibranium one of given to him. The Wakandans took great care in trying to fix what they could.
But it reminds him of how different he is, how the arm was forced upon him, and he can feel tension curl back inside of him at the other man's intense reaction. He wants to ignore it, but it's hard to do so when he can see Hawke's hand lifting, magic at the ready. He jerks back a little harder than he's intending to, because of course he notices, eyebrows furrowed. It feels jarring in the moment, and he leans back a little against the counter, resting on his hands behind him.
"Don't." He shakes his head, avoiding Hawke's gaze. "It's a part of me whether I like it or not. I don't need your sympathy."
It wasn’t at all surprising, the stiff response. Hawke simply held his ground, allowing Bucky to pull as far away as he wished. Bucky averted his gaze, and that was expected, too.
Rather than protest, Hawke simply kept still, but finally said, “It is part of you.” A gesture, indicating Bucky’s entire body, crown to heel. “All of this is you. No one part more exclusive than the other.”
He then gave a quietly amused little huff, adding, “And you may not want or need my sympathy, but that doesn't stop me from offering it. Don’t mistake it for pity, Bucky. Because they aren’t at all the same.”
"If I look at it as a burden, then all it's gonna do is drag me down." That's what Hawke said, isn't it? That he wishes he could ease this burden. "I don't want it to be healed either." Because he deserves this. All the pain he's caused people, every life his hands have ended... he can't just move on from that and make his own life better when their families are still suffering.
"They feel the same when you look at me like that." He's ruining this, he knows it. He doesn't want to. "I'm sorry.
Look. I know this is my issue, not yours. Just-- gimme a minute." He rubs his hands over his face, slipping out from between Hawke and the counter, taking a few steps over to the sink to grab a glass of water.
That wasn’t exactly what Hawke had meant, but then he didn’t know the entire story, either. So Hawke let it go and obligingly stepped back another pace when Bucky turned towards the sink.
“You don’t have to apologize,” Hawke reminded him, voice quiet. “This is just a moment in time. Let it pass.” He’d constantly reminded Fenris of that, trying to help the elf with the sudden panic attacks that emerged without any warning.
The instinctual urge was to try and soothe, to comfort, but that wasn’t what was needed just now. So Hawke gave Bucky his space, not put out of countenance by the abrupt shift in mood, or when Bucky turned away, hunched sightly over the sink.
Perhaps the best thing was simply to be there, letting Bucky deal with Bucky and make the choice of his own volition. To that end, Hawke silently leaned back against the counter, hands atop the pristine surface. Relaxed, but ever aware of the man not that far away.
Bucky wonders if it would be different if Hawke knew, but that isn't going to happen. Not anytime soon, anyway. Not ever if he can help it. Those ghosts, those demons, they're his own to deal with.
But Hawke's words help in the way they always seem to do. This is just a moment in time, let it pass. Let it pass. He takes a long drink of water, letting those words sink into his head. That really is it. Just a moment in time, separate from all those things- and while he might not want to be healed, he also doesn't want to let that past drown him. Not when he finally has something good.
After a minute or two he nods, setting the glass into the sink and turns back to Hawke, dragging his fingers through his hair. "I didn't mean to- ruin this. I'm-" Sorry, he almost says again, but stops himself. "I hope I didn't."
A small smile emerged when Bucky turned back around, and Hawke shook his head. “You didn’t.” He lifted an inquiring eyebrow. “I’m still here, am I not?”
Yet he understood all too well the feelings of shame, anger, and helplessness that accompanied such heavy trauma. He’d held a Tevinter elf together many a night back in Kirkwall, silently battling Fenris’ demons until both of them were exhausted, but Hawke had never given up. Not once. It wasn’t in him to just quit.
So he wordlessly held out an inviting hand, leaving the decision up to Bucky whether or not to take it.
"Yeah, you're still here," he says, then returns Hawke's smile with one of his own. As small as it is, it's meaningful. He appreciates the care, the patience. The space Hawke gives him. He appreciates the understanding that he doesn't want to be healed, even if the reasons aren't apparent.
His smile grows as Hawke holds his hand out, and Bucky moves back toward him, taking it. He settles back into Hawke's space, lifting his hand to slide into the other man's hair as he leans in to kiss him once again.
Bucky taking his offered hand brought another small, warm smile, and it became another of those rough, throaty purrs when Bucky's hand slid into Hawke's tousled dark hair. Lips met once more, the mage curving both arms around his soldier's waist as their kiss became two, three, each deeper and longer than the last.
Now chest to chest, supple muscle moving against supple muscle, a deliciously tantalizing sensation, Hawke slowly maneuvered them both until he could again settle his beautiful lover back against the counter. A thick strong thigh eased its way between Bucky's knees, pressing upwards lightly as Hawke deepened their kiss even more, tongue delving deep into Bucky's mouth to coil and twine with his.
Even though he burned to make love to this man, to kiss, stroke, and caress him in every way he could, prove that he was still beautiful to behold, he knew that they both needed to pace themselves. Passion and desire was a wonderful thing, but it could also be devastating, and neither of them needed to suffer any more pain.
Although, given Bucky's increasingly eager responses, "taking it slow" didn't seem to be first and foremost on either of their minds.
He's pulled back against Hawke in such an enticing way, arms moving around bodies, skin against skin in exactly the way he was hoping for. He's never felt anything like this, but oh, he's absolutely turned on by it. A part of him feels like it's a shame that he's missed out all this time, but there wouldn't have been a chance for him before this. And it's alright, because he gets to do it with Hawke.
He's pressed against the counter, hands sliding up along the muscles of Hawke's back as he kisses the other man deeply, not hesitating to taste him fully. He doesn't hesitate with his arm anymore, even if he touches Hawke with that one much more gently than his real one. It still feels good. It feels right.
When Hawk's thighs press up against him, Bucky can't help but let out a deep, rumbling moan, even if it's swallowed up by the kiss- his body rocking forward to press in closer. It feels like everything is on fire, in such a delicious way and he realizes just how much he's been yearning for this kind of touch, this kind of feeling. It's all rolled up into the deepest kind of passion that he feels for this man.
Oh, that was such a lovely sound. Bucky moaned directly into Hawke's mouth, prompting yet another low, returning growl. And he was squirming in the mage's arms, strong, solid body almost begging for a deeper touch. Hawke was only too happy to give it, heated hands sliding to Bucky's hips to pull him higher astride that muscled thigh, lifting his knee just enough to press tight and hard, a delicious friction that made Hawke's chest hitch and his own breath stutter.
Mouths moved against each other, tongues eagerly licking, coiling, tasting, and Hawke's head was very close to spiraling completely away with his good sense, but Bucky's responsiveness was just so fucking heady. As if he were starved for this...for any sort of affection, and affection could all too quickly erupt into an inferno of passion.
But Bucky wasn't idle - Hawke felt hands both cool and warm course up his back and the sensuous dichotomy of temperatures made him shudder, rolling his body to invite more of that contrasting touch. He licked at Bucky's sweet, sweet mouth, panting softly against the other man's mouth before sliding his lips to the thundering pulse in Bucky's neck, setting his teeth against the flushed flesh and laving it with the flat of his tongue.
There's such a deep, intense arousal that runs through Bucky when Hawke's heated hands pull him that much tighter against him, his knee pressing up to cause friction against the tight bulge in his pants. It nearly takes his breath away, causing him to roll his hips forward just to get more of it, more of Hawke. He doesn't remember it ever being this tense before. Maybe it never was. His body really is aching for it.
His hands are definitely not idle, digging in as he drags up them up and down Hawke's back. With their deeper, all encompassing kisses, Bucky slides them even further down, grabbing at Hawke's ass just to pull him closer.
He doesn't remember being a loud person either, but when Hawke's teeth find his neck, nipping and kissing, he lets out a deep moan, letting his head fall back. He suddenly wishes he had a bed instead of just a couch, but that's as far as he can even think, before he tilts his head back to catch Hawke's lips in another deep, intense kiss.
They ground together, powerful bodies moving against each other in such perfect symmetry, and Hawke dimly realized what a sight they must be: two large men gyrating like over-eager teenagers right in the middle of the kitchen, but he couldn't really care. Not when Bucky was licking at his mouth, moaning in that gorgeously lustful voice, and grabbing at him to pull him even closer, both of their trousers nicely tight and thick by now.
Those flesh-and-metal hands gripping his ass made his teeth sink a bit deeper into Bucky's skin, a surge of greedy white-hot want rolling beneath his skin, and Hawke sucked hard at the pulse beneath his mouth, leaving it only to latch his lips to Bucky's ear, tugging at the tender lobe while trying not to pant like a randy sailor. Hard to do, with an armful of such a delectable desire.
But then Bucky was angling again for his mouth, thrusting his agile tongue between Hawke's lips and that was enough to make the mage jerk in response, stumbling forward and knocking a knee against the closed counter door behind his lover. The sound made him snort in wry amusement, which evolved into a guttural chuckle against Bucky's hot open mouth. Unable to stifle his chortles, Hawke nevertheless rolled his groin against Bucky's front, rumbling through his mirth at the delicious friction, even through their layers.
"...see what you do to me, Bucky?" he quipped, blue eyes glinting brightly, a smirk curving his lips. A soft kiss, followed by the heated remark of, "I'd fuck you here and now, would you allow me, and spend the rest of the week proving just how beautiful you truly are." And if Bucky wished the same, then Hawke was more than willing to oblige.
That's exactly what Bucky does feel like at the moment. A touch starved teenager, trying to get his hands all over his new lover. Wanting, being wanted- it's a heady feeling. One that both of them seem very much full of right now. He can practically feel the marks forming under Hawke's mouth- they'll heal up quicker than a normal person would, but they'll be there as a testament of their passion.
Bucky feels dizzy with this feeling, even as their kiss breaks and Hawke chuckles against his lips as they shift further against the counter. He can feel it pressing against him almost uncomfortably now, but he doesn't want to pull away from Hawke. He does shift a little though, letting out a small laugh of his own as they both try to make this work. It doesn't take much though, as Hawke's tight heat presses against him once again, pulling another moan from him that gets lost between their breathless kisses.
"It's what you're doing to me too. God, I've never felt this... this..." He doesn't even know how to finish that sentence. Doesn't even have to, with what Hawke says next. Bucky closes his eyes for a moment, licking his lips, then nods. He nods, but he also hesitantly opens his eyes, to look at the other man.
"I want that. I want you. But I've never done this before, so just-- go slow." Is that alright to say, he wonders? It is, he reminds himself, because he wouldn't be here with Hawke right now if that's not the kind of person he was. "I want you to fuck me."
Yes, slow. Remember slow, Rowen? He truly hadn't come over tonight intending on this happening, but happen it had, and Hawke refused to be sorry for it. Maker's breath and Andraste's ass, never in life. This was all about Bucky, and their shared passion, their shared desire. So Hawke took a deep breath, then another, and rested his forehead again against Bucky's, smiling softly.
"Of course, love." Very slow. One step at a time. Even though the vision of Bucky Barnes beneath him, thighs spread, powerful body jolting with Hawke's hard thrusts as they both groaned, moaned, and cried their pleasure nearly had him weak at the knees. Soon, Hawke promised himself. Maker, very soon.
"First, though...kiss me again." Not at all an onerous chore, that one. And when their lips met, gentler this time, Hawke deliberately slipped his right hand beneath them and cupped Bucky's cock through his jeans, firmly squeezing, plumping, caressing. He knew it'd been a good long while since Bucky had experienced any sort of release, and this should rightly be step one.
Step two, later.
"...how does that feel?" Asked with his mouth still teasing against Bucky's agile tongue painting the soldier's lips as his fingers worked over rough denim.
Bucky surely hadn't intended on his happening either, especially because of the mood he was in before he started talking to Rowen. But now, things feel better, he feels lighter, even with all the turmoil he was feeling inside of him. Now, it's only this. Their bodies pressed together, so achingly hard.
But Rowen's right about this as well- it's been a long time. Maybe longer than Rowen even realizes. It's been decades.
He smiles when Rowen asks to kiss him and he happily obliges, leaning in for a slow, soft one. He's alright with slowing this down in every single way as well, just to feel it. It's not a race- it's passion, but taking a moment to slow it down for both of them seems like a good idea. Especially because then he gets to feel exactly what Rowen's doing, fully and completely.
His hand, cupping him, squeezing at him- it makes Bucky moan into the kiss, hips rolling forward to catch more of that sweet friction. "Feels incredible. Jesus... Rowen. No one's touched me like this in a long time."
Gentle teeth lightly tugged at Bucky's full lower lip, Hawke chuckling softly to hear the breathy response. "Then I'll be the first," he promised, squeezing a little firmer each time Bucky rolled his hips into Hawke's hand. "Keep kissing me," he entreated, mouth moving against Bucky's lips as he spoke. "Moan right into my mouth, love...let me hear how good it feels..."
Step Two. Hawke had had to learn how the different fastenings on these decidedly odd clothes functioned here in this particular realm, but as with everything, he was a quick learner and it only took him a few moments to have Bucky's jeans open, the zipper lowered, and then naturally-heated fingers delved beneath the denim and then the cotton smalls to meet firm, heavy flesh, and this time it was Hawke moaning into Bucky's mouth as Bucky filled his palm, nice and thick.
Talented fingers stroked and squeezed, warm palm cupping and rubbing, firm grip giving just the slightest tugs in between the heated caresses. Bucky's responses were so strong, so thoroughly sincere, Hawke very nearly felt lightheaded to orchestrate this man's first pleasure in Maker-knew how long. The gut-clenching thought of having his mouth replace his hand earned his own long, throaty moan, but, Step Three.
There's more he wants to say, but after that he can't really manage it. Rowen squeezes him, presses into him so heatedly, it all gets stuck in his throat, only a moan escaping. But he'd much rather be kissing the other as well, so that's exactly what he does, not as softly as he was at first, because he's all worked up again.
He moans into the kiss, more than once, fingers digging in at Rowen's sides. Will he last? He certainly hopes so. In fact, he know he probably will- he's got the stamina of a super soldier, after all.
When Rowen's hand slips into his open pants, past the fabric of his underwear, he has to break the kiss, dropping his head down agains his shoulder as he tries to catch his breath. It's almost embarrassing the way he reacts, but he can barely even think that far. This feeling of pleasure is all consuming.
He doesn't want Rowen to stop though, so with a breath of his name, he kisses up along the other man's neck, bitting softly as his hips roll forward again.
Hawke worked Bucky over even more, setting up a nice, slow rhythm of squeeze and tug, cup, then squeeze and tug all over again. It was a rhythm Bucky's hips and Hawke's entire body fell into, working against each other with salacious intent. Though Hawke had to bite back his own shudder of sheer pleasure when Bucky's teeth found his neck, the eager pulse beating beneath those devilish little love bites and nipping kisses.
"Mmmm, yes, love," Hawke purred at Bucky's ear, still fondling his cock with an expert hand. "...Maker," he had to breathe after a few moments more, fire licking beneath his skin, urging him to hike this man atop the counter and fuck him for the rest of the night and all the next day, but, the Steps. They were important.
"...you feel so good," Hawke rumbled at Bucky's cheek, nuzzling for his mouth to slide his tongue between those luscious lips. Calloused fingers gave Bucky's rigid cock a long, slow tug. "And you have a choice, sweetheart: do you want to fuck my hand, just like this, or would you rather fuck my mouth?" Right here, right against the kitchen counter.
Rowen certainly knows what he's doing, and Bucky's glad for it. He's letting the other man take the lead, because while he might not exactly fumble through this, it's still been long enough where he's unsure. Hell, especially being with a man. In the end though, that part hardly matters as much, because Bucky's well and fully attracted, there's no doubt about that.
The proof is in how hard he is, practically leaking in Rowen's hand as he strokes at him so expertly.
Bucky feels like maybe he should be doing more, but at the moment he's too wrapped up, and it feels like his brain has shorted out. Rowen feels so damn good, his sweet words urging him on. There's nothing quite like the slow build of arousal he feels when Rowen asks him what he wants, though. He breathes out a curse, pulling back to look at the other with darkened blue eyes. "Your mouth. I wanna feel your mouth. I'd do anything to feel your mouth." He says as he leans in to speak against that very mouth before kissing him again. If he's feeling a little desperate, so be it.
Hawke returned the kiss, their tongues coiling together behind fused lips. Bucky's choice had lit him up from the inside out, and there was nothing else he wanted more than to sink to his knees and suck the cock still in his hand all the way down his throat. But first, a few more kisses. And a purred rumble of assent, nodding when at last they broke apart, both panting for air.
"...all right..."
With a wicked little grin, Hawke withdrew his hand, placed both on Bucky's lean hips, and slowly slithered his way down Bucky's strong frame, pausing to worry a tight nipple with the tip of his tongue. Once on his knees, dark head directly in front of Bucky's half-bare groin, Hawke deftly worked those jeans further open, slowly pulling down all the layers until Bucky's cock eagerly sprang free, flushed, thick, and already slick.
Hawke again took him in hand, curled fingers plumping the base, and angled his head to run the flat of his tongue along the sharply ridged vein beneath, giving a soft, sweet moan when he reached its end and suckled just the velvety head between his lips. His tongue swirled across it, cheeks hollowing beneath lowered dark lashes as he sucked lightly, reaching around to squeeze the curve of Bucky's ass in a hard grip.
There's a part of him that doesn't even really know what to expect. It's like he doesn't remember this anymore. For a while it was like that. Everything that felt good, everything that was a comfort to him was rewritten in his head, tortured out of him, and he's still putting the pieces together from time to time.
Maybe in a way it's a good thing. It almost feels like he's experiencing this for the first time- except deep in his bones he knows how much he wants this- how much he wants Rowen.
He watches, breath hitching even as Rowen simply teases his nipple, and Bucky slides his real hand up Rowen's shoulders, his neck, eventually into his hair, tousling it a bit as the other works his pants open. His metal arm is holding on to the counter for some leverage, because he's sure this will make his knees weak, no matter how much stronger he's supposed to be. He's already groaning when his pants are opened completely and his cock is finally free.
He's achingly hard, but Rowen's mouth gives him the sweetest relief. He's pretty sure he can already see stars as that expert tongue runs up his shaft, making him shudder. His fingers curl tighter into Rowen's hair as his mouth descends around the head of his cock, and he releases a long moan, his head falling back. This is the best thing he's felt in a very long time.
"Oh god.... your mouth is perfect," he says as he lifts his head again, needing to look down at the other man's face, watching his cock disappear into that perfect, plump mouth.
The fingers flexing in his hair told Hawke just how much Bucky both wanted and liked this, and the low moans coming from above him guided him even further. It was absolutely his intention to take Bucky right apart, to shock him with pleasure, with want. He took Bucky's cock between his lips inch by inch, slowly going deeper with each long, languid suck, finally curving both large hands around the soldier's bared ass to guide those lean hips in the slightest shallow rhythm. Just enough to match the bob of his head as he worked.
And Hawke didn't bother checking his noises either, letting Bucky hear just how delicious he was, filling the mage's mouth and then some. Hawke sucked, moaned, and licked all around Bucky's thick heavy cock, working the soft head into his throat a time or two, just enough before he choked, releasing the turgid shaft to lap and lave it all over with the flat of his tongue before taking it again deep into his mouth.
Two long fingers slipped a bit deeper, teasing beneath the heavy sac and cupping it in a heated palm, squeezing as firmly as he had earlier. Every so often, Hawke lifted his lashes and gazed up to his luscious lover, nothing but heady, heady desire burning in bright blue eyes.
It's a sight Bucky knows he won't soon forget. Rowen looking up at him like that through his lashes, taking him deeper into his mouth each time. Even the way he chokes around his cock sends a spike of arousal through him, and Bucky truly didn't even know something like that would turn him on so much.
He starts moving his hips when Rowen's hands slide to his ass, urging him on. He wants nothing more than to feel more and more of that hot, wet mouth around him. He likes that he can tell how much Rowen is enjoying it as well, those sounds of his definitely encouraging.
For a long time, pleasure had been a painful thing. With a lot of reprograming in his head, he can finally feel things normally, and for that, he's grateful, because this already feels it'll be an experience like no other. Rowen already has him coming undone.
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Date: 2024-05-22 02:46 am (UTC)He moves his hands from Rowen's chest only to help him pull his jacket off, and then his hands move right back, fingers pressing along Rowen's sides, then up to his shoulders to push his shirt off of them. He has to pause there though, because the feel of Rowen's hands on his skin is so intense, so good that he forgets how to even move for a moment, letting out a soft sound of approval. The touch is warm, just like the rest of Rowen. He likes that part a lot.
"Damn... so do you. You feel incredible," he breathes out quickly after that, "Strong but soft-- exactly like that." He returns the kisses more eagerly after that, closing his eyes and letting his lips travel along the other man's jaw as well. Whatever darker mood he was in earlier seems far away from him now as he's wrapped up in Rowen, exploring him so freely.
"I want that too." Maybe not such small steps. Maybe too much too soon, but he does't think so. "I wanna feel you pressed against me in every single way."
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Date: 2024-05-23 11:37 pm (UTC)"...Bucky..." Hawke didn't even realized he'd said the other man's name, instinctively reaching for the red, scarred skin with an outstretched palm glowing a cool minty-green. Then stopped. Because Bucky had said no. He didn't want to be healed. Something else Hawke understood.
Hawke lowered his hand, its glow slowly fading. But there wasn’t an ounce of judgment in the blue eyes that sought Bucky’s, just a quiet, tender sympathy.
“…oh, love. Would that I could ease but a small bit of that burden…”
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Date: 2024-05-24 02:47 am (UTC)Bucky knows it's not an attractive sight- and this is already far improved from how it was when he had the metal arm, before the vibranium one of given to him. The Wakandans took great care in trying to fix what they could.
But it reminds him of how different he is, how the arm was forced upon him, and he can feel tension curl back inside of him at the other man's intense reaction. He wants to ignore it, but it's hard to do so when he can see Hawke's hand lifting, magic at the ready. He jerks back a little harder than he's intending to, because of course he notices, eyebrows furrowed. It feels jarring in the moment, and he leans back a little against the counter, resting on his hands behind him.
"Don't." He shakes his head, avoiding Hawke's gaze. "It's a part of me whether I like it or not. I don't need your sympathy."
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Date: 2024-05-24 02:56 am (UTC)Rather than protest, Hawke simply kept still, but finally said, “It is part of you.” A gesture, indicating Bucky’s entire body, crown to heel. “All of this is you. No one part more exclusive than the other.”
He then gave a quietly amused little huff, adding, “And you may not want or need my sympathy, but that doesn't stop me from offering it. Don’t mistake it for pity, Bucky. Because they aren’t at all the same.”
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Date: 2024-05-24 03:19 am (UTC)"They feel the same when you look at me like that." He's ruining this, he knows it. He doesn't want to. "I'm sorry.
Look. I know this is my issue, not yours. Just-- gimme a minute." He rubs his hands over his face, slipping out from between Hawke and the counter, taking a few steps over to the sink to grab a glass of water.
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Date: 2024-05-24 03:30 am (UTC)“You don’t have to apologize,” Hawke reminded him, voice quiet. “This is just a moment in time. Let it pass.” He’d constantly reminded Fenris of that, trying to help the elf with the sudden panic attacks that emerged without any warning.
The instinctual urge was to try and soothe, to comfort, but that wasn’t what was needed just now. So Hawke gave Bucky his space, not put out of countenance by the abrupt shift in mood, or when Bucky turned away, hunched sightly over the sink.
Perhaps the best thing was simply to be there, letting Bucky deal with Bucky and make the choice of his own volition. To that end, Hawke silently leaned back against the counter, hands atop the pristine surface. Relaxed, but ever aware of the man not that far away.
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Date: 2024-05-24 03:46 am (UTC)But Hawke's words help in the way they always seem to do. This is just a moment in time, let it pass. Let it pass. He takes a long drink of water, letting those words sink into his head. That really is it. Just a moment in time, separate from all those things- and while he might not want to be healed, he also doesn't want to let that past drown him. Not when he finally has something good.
After a minute or two he nods, setting the glass into the sink and turns back to Hawke, dragging his fingers through his hair. "I didn't mean to- ruin this. I'm-" Sorry, he almost says again, but stops himself. "I hope I didn't."
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Date: 2024-05-24 04:01 am (UTC)Yet he understood all too well the feelings of shame, anger, and helplessness that accompanied such heavy trauma. He’d held a Tevinter elf together many a night back in Kirkwall, silently battling Fenris’ demons until both of them were exhausted, but Hawke had never given up. Not once. It wasn’t in him to just quit.
So he wordlessly held out an inviting hand, leaving the decision up to Bucky whether or not to take it.
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Date: 2024-05-24 04:15 am (UTC)His smile grows as Hawke holds his hand out, and Bucky moves back toward him, taking it. He settles back into Hawke's space, lifting his hand to slide into the other man's hair as he leans in to kiss him once again.
No, none of this feels ruined at all.
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Date: 2024-05-25 04:27 pm (UTC)Now chest to chest, supple muscle moving against supple muscle, a deliciously tantalizing sensation, Hawke slowly maneuvered them both until he could again settle his beautiful lover back against the counter. A thick strong thigh eased its way between Bucky's knees, pressing upwards lightly as Hawke deepened their kiss even more, tongue delving deep into Bucky's mouth to coil and twine with his.
Even though he burned to make love to this man, to kiss, stroke, and caress him in every way he could, prove that he was still beautiful to behold, he knew that they both needed to pace themselves. Passion and desire was a wonderful thing, but it could also be devastating, and neither of them needed to suffer any more pain.
Although, given Bucky's increasingly eager responses, "taking it slow" didn't seem to be first and foremost on either of their minds.
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Date: 2024-05-26 12:07 am (UTC)He's pressed against the counter, hands sliding up along the muscles of Hawke's back as he kisses the other man deeply, not hesitating to taste him fully. He doesn't hesitate with his arm anymore, even if he touches Hawke with that one much more gently than his real one. It still feels good. It feels right.
When Hawk's thighs press up against him, Bucky can't help but let out a deep, rumbling moan, even if it's swallowed up by the kiss- his body rocking forward to press in closer. It feels like everything is on fire, in such a delicious way and he realizes just how much he's been yearning for this kind of touch, this kind of feeling. It's all rolled up into the deepest kind of passion that he feels for this man.
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Date: 2024-05-26 10:12 pm (UTC)Mouths moved against each other, tongues eagerly licking, coiling, tasting, and Hawke's head was very close to spiraling completely away with his good sense, but Bucky's responsiveness was just so fucking heady. As if he were starved for this...for any sort of affection, and affection could all too quickly erupt into an inferno of passion.
But Bucky wasn't idle - Hawke felt hands both cool and warm course up his back and the sensuous dichotomy of temperatures made him shudder, rolling his body to invite more of that contrasting touch. He licked at Bucky's sweet, sweet mouth, panting softly against the other man's mouth before sliding his lips to the thundering pulse in Bucky's neck, setting his teeth against the flushed flesh and laving it with the flat of his tongue.
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Date: 2024-05-27 06:59 pm (UTC)His hands are definitely not idle, digging in as he drags up them up and down Hawke's back. With their deeper, all encompassing kisses, Bucky slides them even further down, grabbing at Hawke's ass just to pull him closer.
He doesn't remember being a loud person either, but when Hawke's teeth find his neck, nipping and kissing, he lets out a deep moan, letting his head fall back. He suddenly wishes he had a bed instead of just a couch, but that's as far as he can even think, before he tilts his head back to catch Hawke's lips in another deep, intense kiss.
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Date: 2024-05-27 07:15 pm (UTC)Those flesh-and-metal hands gripping his ass made his teeth sink a bit deeper into Bucky's skin, a surge of greedy white-hot want rolling beneath his skin, and Hawke sucked hard at the pulse beneath his mouth, leaving it only to latch his lips to Bucky's ear, tugging at the tender lobe while trying not to pant like a randy sailor. Hard to do, with an armful of such a delectable desire.
But then Bucky was angling again for his mouth, thrusting his agile tongue between Hawke's lips and that was enough to make the mage jerk in response, stumbling forward and knocking a knee against the closed counter door behind his lover. The sound made him snort in wry amusement, which evolved into a guttural chuckle against Bucky's hot open mouth. Unable to stifle his chortles, Hawke nevertheless rolled his groin against Bucky's front, rumbling through his mirth at the delicious friction, even through their layers.
"...see what you do to me, Bucky?" he quipped, blue eyes glinting brightly, a smirk curving his lips. A soft kiss, followed by the heated remark of, "I'd fuck you here and now, would you allow me, and spend the rest of the week proving just how beautiful you truly are." And if Bucky wished the same, then Hawke was more than willing to oblige.
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Date: 2024-05-27 08:24 pm (UTC)Bucky feels dizzy with this feeling, even as their kiss breaks and Hawke chuckles against his lips as they shift further against the counter. He can feel it pressing against him almost uncomfortably now, but he doesn't want to pull away from Hawke. He does shift a little though, letting out a small laugh of his own as they both try to make this work. It doesn't take much though, as Hawke's tight heat presses against him once again, pulling another moan from him that gets lost between their breathless kisses.
"It's what you're doing to me too. God, I've never felt this... this..." He doesn't even know how to finish that sentence. Doesn't even have to, with what Hawke says next. Bucky closes his eyes for a moment, licking his lips, then nods. He nods, but he also hesitantly opens his eyes, to look at the other man.
"I want that. I want you. But I've never done this before, so just-- go slow." Is that alright to say, he wonders? It is, he reminds himself, because he wouldn't be here with Hawke right now if that's not the kind of person he was. "I want you to fuck me."
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Date: 2024-05-27 08:44 pm (UTC)"Of course, love." Very slow. One step at a time. Even though the vision of Bucky Barnes beneath him, thighs spread, powerful body jolting with Hawke's hard thrusts as they both groaned, moaned, and cried their pleasure nearly had him weak at the knees. Soon, Hawke promised himself. Maker, very soon.
"First, though...kiss me again." Not at all an onerous chore, that one. And when their lips met, gentler this time, Hawke deliberately slipped his right hand beneath them and cupped Bucky's cock through his jeans, firmly squeezing, plumping, caressing. He knew it'd been a good long while since Bucky had experienced any sort of release, and this should rightly be step one.
Step two, later.
"...how does that feel?" Asked with his mouth still teasing against Bucky's agile tongue painting the soldier's lips as his fingers worked over rough denim.
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Date: 2024-05-27 11:43 pm (UTC)But Rowen's right about this as well- it's been a long time. Maybe longer than Rowen even realizes. It's been decades.
He smiles when Rowen asks to kiss him and he happily obliges, leaning in for a slow, soft one. He's alright with slowing this down in every single way as well, just to feel it. It's not a race- it's passion, but taking a moment to slow it down for both of them seems like a good idea. Especially because then he gets to feel exactly what Rowen's doing, fully and completely.
His hand, cupping him, squeezing at him- it makes Bucky moan into the kiss, hips rolling forward to catch more of that sweet friction. "Feels incredible. Jesus... Rowen. No one's touched me like this in a long time."
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Date: 2024-05-27 11:55 pm (UTC)Step Two. Hawke had had to learn how the different fastenings on these decidedly odd clothes functioned here in this particular realm, but as with everything, he was a quick learner and it only took him a few moments to have Bucky's jeans open, the zipper lowered, and then naturally-heated fingers delved beneath the denim and then the cotton smalls to meet firm, heavy flesh, and this time it was Hawke moaning into Bucky's mouth as Bucky filled his palm, nice and thick.
Talented fingers stroked and squeezed, warm palm cupping and rubbing, firm grip giving just the slightest tugs in between the heated caresses. Bucky's responses were so strong, so thoroughly sincere, Hawke very nearly felt lightheaded to orchestrate this man's first pleasure in Maker-knew how long. The gut-clenching thought of having his mouth replace his hand earned his own long, throaty moan, but, Step Three.
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Date: 2024-05-28 01:03 am (UTC)He moans into the kiss, more than once, fingers digging in at Rowen's sides. Will he last? He certainly hopes so. In fact, he know he probably will- he's got the stamina of a super soldier, after all.
When Rowen's hand slips into his open pants, past the fabric of his underwear, he has to break the kiss, dropping his head down agains his shoulder as he tries to catch his breath. It's almost embarrassing the way he reacts, but he can barely even think that far. This feeling of pleasure is all consuming.
He doesn't want Rowen to stop though, so with a breath of his name, he kisses up along the other man's neck, bitting softly as his hips roll forward again.
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Date: 2024-05-28 01:15 am (UTC)"Mmmm, yes, love," Hawke purred at Bucky's ear, still fondling his cock with an expert hand. "...Maker," he had to breathe after a few moments more, fire licking beneath his skin, urging him to hike this man atop the counter and fuck him for the rest of the night and all the next day, but, the Steps. They were important.
"...you feel so good," Hawke rumbled at Bucky's cheek, nuzzling for his mouth to slide his tongue between those luscious lips. Calloused fingers gave Bucky's rigid cock a long, slow tug. "And you have a choice, sweetheart: do you want to fuck my hand, just like this, or would you rather fuck my mouth?" Right here, right against the kitchen counter.
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Date: 2024-05-28 01:59 am (UTC)The proof is in how hard he is, practically leaking in Rowen's hand as he strokes at him so expertly.
Bucky feels like maybe he should be doing more, but at the moment he's too wrapped up, and it feels like his brain has shorted out. Rowen feels so damn good, his sweet words urging him on. There's nothing quite like the slow build of arousal he feels when Rowen asks him what he wants, though. He breathes out a curse, pulling back to look at the other with darkened blue eyes. "Your mouth. I wanna feel your mouth. I'd do anything to feel your mouth." He says as he leans in to speak against that very mouth before kissing him again. If he's feeling a little desperate, so be it.
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Date: 2024-05-28 02:12 am (UTC)"...all right..."
With a wicked little grin, Hawke withdrew his hand, placed both on Bucky's lean hips, and slowly slithered his way down Bucky's strong frame, pausing to worry a tight nipple with the tip of his tongue. Once on his knees, dark head directly in front of Bucky's half-bare groin, Hawke deftly worked those jeans further open, slowly pulling down all the layers until Bucky's cock eagerly sprang free, flushed, thick, and already slick.
Hawke again took him in hand, curled fingers plumping the base, and angled his head to run the flat of his tongue along the sharply ridged vein beneath, giving a soft, sweet moan when he reached its end and suckled just the velvety head between his lips. His tongue swirled across it, cheeks hollowing beneath lowered dark lashes as he sucked lightly, reaching around to squeeze the curve of Bucky's ass in a hard grip.
omg im so tired ive been writing this tag for two hours lmao sorry
Date: 2024-05-28 10:02 pm (UTC)Maybe in a way it's a good thing. It almost feels like he's experiencing this for the first time- except deep in his bones he knows how much he wants this- how much he wants Rowen.
He watches, breath hitching even as Rowen simply teases his nipple, and Bucky slides his real hand up Rowen's shoulders, his neck, eventually into his hair, tousling it a bit as the other works his pants open. His metal arm is holding on to the counter for some leverage, because he's sure this will make his knees weak, no matter how much stronger he's supposed to be. He's already groaning when his pants are opened completely and his cock is finally free.
He's achingly hard, but Rowen's mouth gives him the sweetest relief. He's pretty sure he can already see stars as that expert tongue runs up his shaft, making him shudder. His fingers curl tighter into Rowen's hair as his mouth descends around the head of his cock, and he releases a long moan, his head falling back. This is the best thing he's felt in a very long time.
"Oh god.... your mouth is perfect," he says as he lifts his head again, needing to look down at the other man's face, watching his cock disappear into that perfect, plump mouth.
big big mood. i know exactly how you feel. <3
Date: 2024-05-29 11:51 pm (UTC)And Hawke didn't bother checking his noises either, letting Bucky hear just how delicious he was, filling the mage's mouth and then some. Hawke sucked, moaned, and licked all around Bucky's thick heavy cock, working the soft head into his throat a time or two, just enough before he choked, releasing the turgid shaft to lap and lave it all over with the flat of his tongue before taking it again deep into his mouth.
Two long fingers slipped a bit deeper, teasing beneath the heavy sac and cupping it in a heated palm, squeezing as firmly as he had earlier. Every so often, Hawke lifted his lashes and gazed up to his luscious lover, nothing but heady, heady desire burning in bright blue eyes.
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Date: 2024-05-31 12:29 am (UTC)He starts moving his hips when Rowen's hands slide to his ass, urging him on. He wants nothing more than to feel more and more of that hot, wet mouth around him. He likes that he can tell how much Rowen is enjoying it as well, those sounds of his definitely encouraging.
For a long time, pleasure had been a painful thing. With a lot of reprograming in his head, he can finally feel things normally, and for that, he's grateful, because this already feels it'll be an experience like no other. Rowen already has him coming undone.
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From:a day off, at last! 🙌
From:yay that's great!
From:and now the weekend, thank goodness~
From:omg yes. this week was SO long.
From:wasn't it just. but hopefully we can chill for a couple days!
From:Rejoice! :D
From:Huzzah!
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From:maaaaaan, this heat is gonna kill meeeeeee /melts
From:oh man, me too. i am laying here trying not to move a single muscle it's so hot D:
From:ditto. ac is chugging full blast, along with three fans. ugh weather is brutal
From:I don't even have a working AC, I'm honestly not sure how I'm even alive right now ;_;
From:oh my god. sending you snowy vibes RIGHT NOW
From:Oh god I WISHHHH. How I miss the snow.
From:i wish we even HAD snow. other than the random blizzard once a decade
From:Yeah I think it snowed for like 10 minutes this year.
From:i refuse to go outside willingly until november
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