He's relieved Hawke doesn't know about his past. He's relieved that the other man doesn't look at him a certain way. The way all people who know who and what we was look at him.
Being with Hawke is a relief, he thinks to himself, time and time again.
Even as his face grows slightly hot when Hawke answers his question, he still doesn't squirm. He does hesitate though- but only for a small moment this time, before he pulls his right glove off to reveal a very real hand- and places it in Hawke's. "Sure."
In all truth, Hawke's metaphorical hands weren't exactly the cleanest in all the universe, either. He and his friends had left their share of chaos all across Thedas, and not everyone had survived their passing. And those who'd paid the ultimate price weren't criminals, slavers, or ne'er-do-wells who'd deserved such a fate.
The former Champion knew a thing or two about guilt.
But now wasn't for dwelling on the past; it was for watching his guest fidget a little - only increasing his attractiveness, Maker's breath - and closing his fingers around Bucky's hand that, to Hawke's absolute surprise, ended up in his.
"All right."
For a moment, nothing seemed to happen, but the air around them did that disappearing thing again, and little by little Hawke's palm began to grow incrementally colder. Colder, and colder, and colder. It became bone-chilling, flesh-numbing, bordering in painful, but before the other man could yank away, it stopped, then began to warm, melting that killing cold with gentle, blessed heat.
Heat that seeped from the mage's skin into the soldier's, flowing from Bucky's fingers to his palms, from his palm to his wrist, then began to feather from his wrist upwards along the skin of his arm, until finally Hawke gently let go, pulling away almost...reluctantly.
To take a slow deep breath, then say with a smile, "...see?"
Heavy topics for a different time, possibly. It takes a lot for Bucky to trust someone, and even then it's only ever really been Steve. Maybe Sam.
But those thoughts are far away now, as his hand settles in Hawke's. Bucky doesn't feel very attractive right now, but that's his own issue. He's still figuring out how to fit back into his own skin, his own mind. Experiences like tonight truly help, though.
He watches Hawke for a long moment, until he can feel the shift in temperature from Hawke's hand to hid palm. It grows colder and colder and for a moment it almost reminds him of something he doesn't want to remember. Trauma from the past, that makes his other hand curl into a fist at his side. But he concentrates hard on staying grounded in the here and now, and knowing that these surroundings are different from the ones he had to endure before. It's a good thing he sticks it out too, because once the almost painful cold wraps around his hand, it slowly starts warming in the other direction, surrounding his arm, moving up his wrist. It feels nice, it feels gentle.
Bucky breathes out slow and deep when Hawke pulls away as well, his gaze flickering back up to his face. "That felt incredible." Not a word he'd use lightly.
Perhaps one day they'd be able to sit down and talk about their history. Perhaps they'd find shared understanding and camaraderie in bringing the pain of the past to light. But not tonight. No, not tonight.
Hawke couldn't help the tilt of his smile at Bucky's breathed admission. "Liked that, hm?" Perhaps not the cold, but definitely the heat. He hadn't missed the small, very subtle flush to those high cheekbones in the last few moments of that little trick.
The mage took a slow sip of his beer, a little mischief twinkling in his look-alike blue eyes. "And that was only on your hand. Imagine what that warmth might feel like...hmmm...elsewhere."
It would be a whole different kind of thing, talking to Hawke about it, as opposed to anyone else. Bucky can already feel that. But no, not tonight.
"Yeah," he says simply. He did like it. The heat, anyway. He can feel the heat lingering on his skin, even as he pulls his glove back on. He takes another sip of his icy cold beer, unable to help the smile that forms around the rim. At that, he takes an even longer sip.
"Oh, I'm imagining. It's hard not to." Honesty, at least. He isn't shying away from it this time. It really did feel nice.
Hawke watched Bucky pull the glove back on, truly curious as to why he even wore them, but opted not to ask, not just yet. Everyone had their proclivities, after all. He did, however, give a light chuckle to Bucky's confession, even more delighted to see him opening up, if only a small fraction.
Progress, that.
"Are you, now?" He almost asked for elaboration on that, but miraculously refrained; small steps, small steps. Hawke couldn't help but quip, though, "Lightning and earth magic are a little more generalized, but believe me when I tell you that I can make the earth move in more ways than one." Which was, of course, followed by an absolutely saucy little wink.
It's good Hawke doesn't ask, because with Bucky being honest right now, he wouldnt want to lie. But he'd have to.
He laughs a little at Hawke's wink, shaking his head. "I bet you can. You're incredibly smooth." It's how he used to be, once upon a time. Now he's so damn tightly wound, he doesn't think anything can make him relax that way again.
Hawke tipped his bottle in Bucky's direction, a small salute. "Bless you, messere. I do hope I've entertained or intrigued you, at least a small bit, no?" He assumed so; the man was sitting in his apartment, on his couch, after all.
Shifting his bottle to his other hand, Hawke leaned his head on his left, elbow propped on the back of the couch. "I don't want to presume, and feel free to tell me if I'm overstepping, but back in that pub you just seemed like a man in dire need of a friend." He'd seen the look before. And sighed softly, himself. "You're not really alone in that, you know?"
"More than a small bit, yeah," Buck nods, tilting his head down a little as he does so, eyes on Hawke. "Haven't talked to anyone for this long since-- since too far back to even remember."
Bucky rests back against the couch a little more as well, getting comfortable. Hawke is right, of course, even if it's hard for Bucky to admit. Maybe it's hard for Hawke to admit it as well, though Hawke seems plenty open about that sort of thing. It makes it easier for Bucky to talk as well.
"It's good we cam across each other, then." He's quiet for a moment after that, looking down at his beer, picking at the label for a moment before he takes another long sip. "Being alone had felt easier. Made it feel like it was my decision."
He'd always been the strong shoulder, the friendly ear, for anyone who needed either. Especially his companions, Maker bless them. But that didn't mean Hawke wasn't without his own burdens to bear. Not by half.
"It is good," he agreed. Then pointed out, "As for decisions, I daresay you've made a good many of them." A sweep of the bottle indicated their current surroundings. "And I'd like to say most, if not all, of them pleasant?"
Growing up, Bucky had been that way too. And then he was nothing. No one. A ghost, until he got his mind back again. Now, far too often, he's the one who feels like a burden.
He doesn't need to glance around. He only needs to look at Hawke. "Yeah- a lot of good decisions tonight, and none of them had anything to do with being alone. Although you did have to do quite a lot of convincing at the start. Sorry about that."
Hawke accepted the apology with a gracious nod and a wave of a hand. "Don't apologize. You're entitled to be left alone if you truly wish to be, and random strangers are more often than not, out to get something. It can sometimes be difficult to tell the difference."
He levered off of the couch to fetch them each a new bottle, just as icily cold as the former. Resuming his seat, he sighed and took a long swallow, just now beginning to feel the briefest buzz from the alcohol. Truly, the breweries in this realm held no candles to Thedas ales.
"That is absolutely true. More often than not." But Hawke stuck around and made it past Bucky's defenses. It's rare to meet someone like Hawke, he knows that much is true. "Hope I was fairly decent company tonight too."
He takes the beer with a nod of thanks. He could drink all night and not feel a single thing. He wonders if Hawke has picked up on that by now. Maybe not, because it's not an expected thing.
Bucky smiles, giving a small nod. "Second date, yeah. I'd really like that."
Well, if Hawke did keel over on his nose in a drunken stupor, hopefully Bucky would put him to bed? Or at least back on the couch. He was hardly a lightweight, but even Champions had their limits. But right now, it was just a pleasant buzz, tingling right beneath his skin. Comfortable.
He grinned like a pumpkin at Bucky's response. "Excellent. What shall we do? Eat and drink again? Oh, and you still have to come by to pick up your new feline friend, too."
Bucky would definitely put Hawke to bed. He'd even tuck him in and fetch some cold water with aspirin. Taking care of people is something he's good at, even though it seems like his bedside manner might be abysmal.
"We can go for dinner, or-- I'm not exactly sure what people do for dates anymore." He almost says back in my day, but they haven't exactly touched upon that yet. "Right, yeah. I'll be back for the cat, too. Just have to pick up a few things-- and figure out what a cat might need. I'm gonna have to use Google."
"A good friend was a cat aficionado," Hawke told him, reclining a bit further and folding one long leg beneath him. "He always said that all kitties needed was food, water, a soft pillow, a box to shit in, and all the love in the world." The mage snorted a small laugh. "Of course, Anders was a little biased, but we loved him nevertheless."
...until he went off the deep end, blew up a place of faith, killed a hundred innocent people, and let Hawke take the blame for the entire fucking debacle.
"I've heard of this 'google', but am alas hardly familiar with it. Or him, or her. Whatever. I'm not entirely sure it'd know much about cats, but if it helps..." He finished off his current bottle, sighing contentedly as he placed the empty on the coffee table.
"Dinner is good, of course, or perhaps a visit to that park we spoke of. I'm extremely easy, serah...in case there was any doubt."
He laughs a little, nodding. "Good, cause that's pretty much what I figured too. Maybe something to scratch." And maybe something to play with. Bucky doesn't have much in his apartment to amuse a small animal.
Hawke sure has a lot of interesting friends.
"It's on the internet. It helps you find things. It's really amazing, actually. But you have to be careful because it can lead to some real strange places. I found that out the hard way." Even kitties might be a dangerous thing to search.
"That would be real nice, yeah. I'm easy too. I'm good with anything."
Hawke just shook his head. "Sounds a bit over my head, that. But I wish you all the joy of it, my friend. By all means, feel free to come by and collect her whenever you wish. In fact..."
He trailed off, glancing past Bucky's shoulder towards the bay windows overlooking the park. A small white ball of fluff was just visible on the small balcony, patting at the sliding glass with a tiny, tiny paw.
"I do believe that's your girl now." The mage grinned, then levered himself up from the couch and sauntered over to open the window, letting in both a swift cold breeze and the maowing fluff, which immediately headed for the kitchen. Hawke closed the window and laughed. "She's looking for her fish," he explained, heading again for the kitchen.
"All right, all right, don't be so hasty," he told the still-yowling animal. "Here it is - greedy girl."
"It was over my head for a long time too, but once you go on it, it'll show you everything. It's worth it even just to find the good places to eat." Someone who knows even less about technology than he does. That's really something.
Bucky quickly glances over at the window when he hears the tapping, and he's pretty sure he's already in love. Yeah, maybe a cat is exactly what he needs. Bucky gets up as well, watching her run to the kitchen, letting out a soft laugh as he follows.
"She knows what she wants and she knows how to get it," he grins, leaning against the entrance to the kitchen as he watches the two of them interact. "So fish is the thing, huh."
"Oh, yes," Hawke agreed, placing a saucer decorated with flaked tuna on the floor for the demanding little puffball. "She's quite spoiled, so, sorry for that." But he was known for being a sap to small, needy things. "She does enjoy her fish," he added with a nod.
The kitten, who now had what she wanted, opted to just ignore her two tall observers and make the most of her meal, coiling her long fluffy tail around herself as she began to eat quickly.
"I can't allow her to stay inside very long," Hawke explained, a plaintive expression crossing his face. "I did promise Missus Livingston, after all. Still, it always breaks my heart a little to put her back outside."
Bucky knows better than to disturb a kitty while she eats, but he does come over and crouches down a little to look at her. She really is small, but looks well fed, thanks to Hawke.
"She's real sweet." Spoiled is fine too. Deep down, Bucky's a sap too. "I'd take her now if I could, but I wanna make sure I'm ready for her. Then again... maybe all she needs is to not go back outside, and I can grab some things on my way home."
"I'm sure she'd fit under your jacket," Hawke observed, "or even in a pocket." He watched with a quiet smile as Bucky knelt beside the small kitten, and couldn't help but grin as she finished her fish, lifted her head to regard her potential owner, and sniffed in his direction. Then meowed questioningly.
"He'll look out for you," Hawke promised her. "He's a good lad, and I think you'll do well together." The kitten turned to him and meowed again, and Hawke nodded. "Trust me, yes?" He gave Bucky a sly look and winked. "I'll make sure he knows you love fish, little bit. Promise."
"She probably would. Hopefully she doesn't jump out. Maybe I should keep a fish in my pocket," he says with a soft laugh, watching the exchange between the two of them. It really is the sweetest thing, and it warms his heart.
Bucky hesitates for a moment, then pulls the glove off his right hand again and slowly reaches out to her so she can sniff at him a little better. At least because of the gloves his hands are always warm, and he knows cats like that. The metal one might scare her, though. He worries about that, always.
The catlet turned back to Bucky, lifted her long tail, waaoed at him again, then delicately sniffed the offered hand. She must have approved of what she smelled, because she gently butted her head against his fingers, then arched her back as she sidled under his hand, entreating this new human for pettings.
Hawke chuckled; "Such a minx. I do believe you'll have your work cut out for you, serah, taming this one."
The kitten continued rubbing against Bucky's fingers, beginning to purr like an approaching thunderstorm. "Shameless," Hawke clucked his tongue at her. The kitten ignored him, making the mage laugh again. "Typical woman. Once she finds what she wants, she's oblivious to everything else."
Bucky scritches around her ears lightly, then a little more when she keeps butting at his hand for more pettings. He smiles, ready to give her everything she wants.
"I like the untamed," he says with his own wink directed at Hawke, and then his attention is back on the kitty, petting all down her back, then back to her ears again. She's small enough to fit in one hand, so he scoops her up gently as he stands, holding her against his chest. "She's also good at stealing the show, isn't she."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2024-05-06 04:17 am (UTC)Being with Hawke is a relief, he thinks to himself, time and time again.
Even as his face grows slightly hot when Hawke answers his question, he still doesn't squirm. He does hesitate though- but only for a small moment this time, before he pulls his right glove off to reveal a very real hand- and places it in Hawke's. "Sure."
no subject
Date: 2024-05-06 05:39 pm (UTC)The former Champion knew a thing or two about guilt.
But now wasn't for dwelling on the past; it was for watching his guest fidget a little - only increasing his attractiveness, Maker's breath - and closing his fingers around Bucky's hand that, to Hawke's absolute surprise, ended up in his.
"All right."
For a moment, nothing seemed to happen, but the air around them did that disappearing thing again, and little by little Hawke's palm began to grow incrementally colder. Colder, and colder, and colder. It became bone-chilling, flesh-numbing, bordering in painful, but before the other man could yank away, it stopped, then began to warm, melting that killing cold with gentle, blessed heat.
Heat that seeped from the mage's skin into the soldier's, flowing from Bucky's fingers to his palms, from his palm to his wrist, then began to feather from his wrist upwards along the skin of his arm, until finally Hawke gently let go, pulling away almost...reluctantly.
To take a slow deep breath, then say with a smile, "...see?"
no subject
Date: 2024-05-06 11:35 pm (UTC)But those thoughts are far away now, as his hand settles in Hawke's. Bucky doesn't feel very attractive right now, but that's his own issue. He's still figuring out how to fit back into his own skin, his own mind. Experiences like tonight truly help, though.
He watches Hawke for a long moment, until he can feel the shift in temperature from Hawke's hand to hid palm. It grows colder and colder and for a moment it almost reminds him of something he doesn't want to remember. Trauma from the past, that makes his other hand curl into a fist at his side. But he concentrates hard on staying grounded in the here and now, and knowing that these surroundings are different from the ones he had to endure before. It's a good thing he sticks it out too, because once the almost painful cold wraps around his hand, it slowly starts warming in the other direction, surrounding his arm, moving up his wrist. It feels nice, it feels gentle.
Bucky breathes out slow and deep when Hawke pulls away as well, his gaze flickering back up to his face. "That felt incredible." Not a word he'd use lightly.
no subject
Date: 2024-05-06 11:59 pm (UTC)Hawke couldn't help the tilt of his smile at Bucky's breathed admission. "Liked that, hm?" Perhaps not the cold, but definitely the heat. He hadn't missed the small, very subtle flush to those high cheekbones in the last few moments of that little trick.
The mage took a slow sip of his beer, a little mischief twinkling in his look-alike blue eyes. "And that was only on your hand. Imagine what that warmth might feel like...hmmm...elsewhere."
no subject
Date: 2024-05-07 12:04 am (UTC)"Yeah," he says simply. He did like it. The heat, anyway. He can feel the heat lingering on his skin, even as he pulls his glove back on. He takes another sip of his icy cold beer, unable to help the smile that forms around the rim. At that, he takes an even longer sip.
"Oh, I'm imagining. It's hard not to." Honesty, at least. He isn't shying away from it this time. It really did feel nice.
no subject
Date: 2024-05-07 12:08 am (UTC)Progress, that.
"Are you, now?" He almost asked for elaboration on that, but miraculously refrained; small steps, small steps. Hawke couldn't help but quip, though, "Lightning and earth magic are a little more generalized, but believe me when I tell you that I can make the earth move in more ways than one." Which was, of course, followed by an absolutely saucy little wink.
no subject
Date: 2024-05-07 12:13 am (UTC)He laughs a little at Hawke's wink, shaking his head. "I bet you can. You're incredibly smooth." It's how he used to be, once upon a time. Now he's so damn tightly wound, he doesn't think anything can make him relax that way again.
no subject
Date: 2024-05-07 12:22 am (UTC)Shifting his bottle to his other hand, Hawke leaned his head on his left, elbow propped on the back of the couch. "I don't want to presume, and feel free to tell me if I'm overstepping, but back in that pub you just seemed like a man in dire need of a friend." He'd seen the look before. And sighed softly, himself. "You're not really alone in that, you know?"
no subject
Date: 2024-05-07 02:17 am (UTC)Bucky rests back against the couch a little more as well, getting comfortable. Hawke is right, of course, even if it's hard for Bucky to admit. Maybe it's hard for Hawke to admit it as well, though Hawke seems plenty open about that sort of thing. It makes it easier for Bucky to talk as well.
"It's good we cam across each other, then." He's quiet for a moment after that, looking down at his beer, picking at the label for a moment before he takes another long sip. "Being alone had felt easier. Made it feel like it was my decision."
no subject
Date: 2024-05-07 02:27 am (UTC)"It is good," he agreed. Then pointed out, "As for decisions, I daresay you've made a good many of them." A sweep of the bottle indicated their current surroundings. "And I'd like to say most, if not all, of them pleasant?"
no subject
Date: 2024-05-07 02:32 am (UTC)He doesn't need to glance around. He only needs to look at Hawke. "Yeah- a lot of good decisions tonight, and none of them had anything to do with being alone. Although you did have to do quite a lot of convincing at the start. Sorry about that."
no subject
Date: 2024-05-07 02:39 am (UTC)He levered off of the couch to fetch them each a new bottle, just as icily cold as the former. Resuming his seat, he sighed and took a long swallow, just now beginning to feel the briefest buzz from the alcohol. Truly, the breweries in this realm held no candles to Thedas ales.
"So. Second date?"
no subject
Date: 2024-05-07 03:10 am (UTC)He takes the beer with a nod of thanks. He could drink all night and not feel a single thing. He wonders if Hawke has picked up on that by now. Maybe not, because it's not an expected thing.
Bucky smiles, giving a small nod. "Second date, yeah. I'd really like that."
no subject
Date: 2024-05-07 11:56 pm (UTC)He grinned like a pumpkin at Bucky's response. "Excellent. What shall we do? Eat and drink again? Oh, and you still have to come by to pick up your new feline friend, too."
no subject
Date: 2024-05-08 12:16 am (UTC)"We can go for dinner, or-- I'm not exactly sure what people do for dates anymore." He almost says back in my day, but they haven't exactly touched upon that yet. "Right, yeah. I'll be back for the cat, too. Just have to pick up a few things-- and figure out what a cat might need. I'm gonna have to use Google."
no subject
Date: 2024-05-08 12:27 am (UTC)...until he went off the deep end, blew up a place of faith, killed a hundred innocent people, and let Hawke take the blame for the entire fucking debacle.
"I've heard of this 'google', but am alas hardly familiar with it. Or him, or her. Whatever. I'm not entirely sure it'd know much about cats, but if it helps..." He finished off his current bottle, sighing contentedly as he placed the empty on the coffee table.
"Dinner is good, of course, or perhaps a visit to that park we spoke of. I'm extremely easy, serah...in case there was any doubt."
no subject
Date: 2024-05-08 12:42 am (UTC)Hawke sure has a lot of interesting friends.
"It's on the internet. It helps you find things. It's really amazing, actually. But you have to be careful because it can lead to some real strange places. I found that out the hard way." Even kitties might be a dangerous thing to search.
"That would be real nice, yeah. I'm easy too. I'm good with anything."
no subject
Date: 2024-05-08 11:19 pm (UTC)He trailed off, glancing past Bucky's shoulder towards the bay windows overlooking the park. A small white ball of fluff was just visible on the small balcony, patting at the sliding glass with a tiny, tiny paw.
"I do believe that's your girl now." The mage grinned, then levered himself up from the couch and sauntered over to open the window, letting in both a swift cold breeze and the maowing fluff, which immediately headed for the kitchen. Hawke closed the window and laughed. "She's looking for her fish," he explained, heading again for the kitchen.
"All right, all right, don't be so hasty," he told the still-yowling animal. "Here it is - greedy girl."
no subject
Date: 2024-05-08 11:37 pm (UTC)Bucky quickly glances over at the window when he hears the tapping, and he's pretty sure he's already in love. Yeah, maybe a cat is exactly what he needs. Bucky gets up as well, watching her run to the kitchen, letting out a soft laugh as he follows.
"She knows what she wants and she knows how to get it," he grins, leaning against the entrance to the kitchen as he watches the two of them interact. "So fish is the thing, huh."
no subject
Date: 2024-05-09 12:03 am (UTC)The kitten, who now had what she wanted, opted to just ignore her two tall observers and make the most of her meal, coiling her long fluffy tail around herself as she began to eat quickly.
"I can't allow her to stay inside very long," Hawke explained, a plaintive expression crossing his face. "I did promise Missus Livingston, after all. Still, it always breaks my heart a little to put her back outside."
no subject
Date: 2024-05-09 12:11 am (UTC)"She's real sweet." Spoiled is fine too. Deep down, Bucky's a sap too. "I'd take her now if I could, but I wanna make sure I'm ready for her. Then again... maybe all she needs is to not go back outside, and I can grab some things on my way home."
no subject
Date: 2024-05-09 12:37 am (UTC)"He'll look out for you," Hawke promised her. "He's a good lad, and I think you'll do well together." The kitten turned to him and meowed again, and Hawke nodded. "Trust me, yes?" He gave Bucky a sly look and winked. "I'll make sure he knows you love fish, little bit. Promise."
no subject
Date: 2024-05-09 12:57 am (UTC)Bucky hesitates for a moment, then pulls the glove off his right hand again and slowly reaches out to her so she can sniff at him a little better. At least because of the gloves his hands are always warm, and he knows cats like that. The metal one might scare her, though. He worries about that, always.
"Hey little one."
no subject
Date: 2024-05-09 01:04 am (UTC)Hawke chuckled; "Such a minx. I do believe you'll have your work cut out for you, serah, taming this one."
The kitten continued rubbing against Bucky's fingers, beginning to purr like an approaching thunderstorm. "Shameless," Hawke clucked his tongue at her. The kitten ignored him, making the mage laugh again. "Typical woman. Once she finds what she wants, she's oblivious to everything else."
no subject
Date: 2024-05-09 01:14 am (UTC)"I like the untamed," he says with his own wink directed at Hawke, and then his attention is back on the kitty, petting all down her back, then back to her ears again. She's small enough to fit in one hand, so he scoops her up gently as he stands, holding her against his chest. "She's also good at stealing the show, isn't she."
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From: